MR RIGHT - SPEED DATING

I'm a bit of a romantic. I am still single and sometimes I feel like the only singleton in London with this much bad luck. In a possibly stupid and self-destructive bid to identify where I might be going wrong, I am sharing my search for Mr Right with you. And if he happens to be reading this, please ignore all the extreme opinions and  any incriminating posts, Its all lies I tell you, lies!

A recent attempt at finding Mr Right took me to a speed dating event. There are a number of groups designed for gay men to meet and network. Some concentrate on professional connections, others on more romantic link ups. I have been to my fair share of both and always leave feeling that I have spent too much time in my comfort zone, stuck with the group of friends I arrived with. On the off chance I do get into a conversation with someone, it isn't long before I am introduced to their boyfriend or a good mate they fooled around with a while back and may still have lingering feelings for. I'm not a therapist, and yet I always end up counselling somebody.


Urged on by friends, I decided to go to The List London's speed dating event. On a cold Thursday evening, I headed over to Jewel bar in Bank. Unlike other speed dating events, this one promised a date with every attendee. That is 30 three-minute dates. Now I can talk A LOT, but even for me this sounded excessive. I arrived and after a visit to the gents to check I looked presentable, I grabbed a very large glass of complimentary red wine and some from the finger buffet. I did a quick survey of the other guests and saw two or three out of the 30 that looked appealing. But I tried to keep an open mind as I took my seat and waited for date number 1 arrived.

When my first date took his seat I felt a mixture of dread and relief. I already knew my first date! In fact I had already dated him at an event once before and then again for dinner. He is a lovely guy and our previous meetings had gone well, but I just didn't fancy him. It was nice catching up and not half as awkward as I had imagined. It also reminded me that I'm not the only nice guy out there still trying to find a partner.


I worked through my three minute dates, trying not to ask the same dull questions. I think the best way to stand out from the 29 other dates is to ask something other than "what do you do?" or "where have you come from?" I opted for asking my quickie dates what their favourite book is, what one item they'd want if they were stranded on a desert island and what superpower they would most like to have. 

After getting over the shock of a 50-something Dutch yoga teacher telling me I had a sexy aura and stroking my face (PERSONAL SPACE), I had a date with number 11. He was 6ft, from Manchester with a cheeky smirk and a twinkle in his eye. I swear our date didn't last 3 minutes. Somebody must have tinkered with the timer. In the little time we had, we discussed his coming moving to London, his wanting to be able to fly like superman and our mutual love for cookery and museums.

In the first if three much needed breaks I tried to find the dashing Mancunian at the bar, but to no avail. I proceeded to chat with some new friends and returned to my seat to find out if his smirk could be topped. I met some nice guys, but none I felt any real connection to. Nonetheless, I still wrrote out some 'would like to get to know' invitations in the paper forms provided, so as not appear too picky. It's difficult to find mr right in three minutes and some nice guys might grow on me over time. The evening carried on and I met more nice people, but none that compared to Mr Smirky. 

At the end of the night, our lovely hosted quickly collected all the invitations and sorted them out there and then. Unline many other events, we only had to wait ten minutes or so before being handed an envelope with our results. Sadly I was not invited for a drink by the hot Manchester lad. I later saw him being chatted up by one of the dates I noted down as cute but too blonde.

The even was a lot of fun but I don't think I'll be doing it again soon. Sure it is fun meeting new guys, and bumping into a few familiar faces. But three minutes really is too short a time frame with too much urgency to make a good first impression. And after 29 dates I was about ready to take a vow of silence.

Thankfully the List London has a number of different events including an evening of drinks and shopping at the Ted Bake flagship store. I wonder if Mr Right will be picking out a suit...