THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

I always appreciate the time people take in selecting a gift for me. This is no easy task, and one I am finding increasingly difficult to do for loved ones. February is a particularly busy month full of celebrations and my own birthday. With it comes the task of picking gifts, and returning those that my friends hoped I would like.

Unless I really know someone very well, and in most cases even then, it is hard to pick something they will really appreciate and use. Sure there are the safe options, like their favourite perfume, or a shirt they liked the last time you went shopping together. But even then, there's the risk that three other people have bought exactly the same item for them. Which is why I am so thankful that so many stores provide a gift receipt. That way the friend can go back and exchange the unwanted present for something they will like. The gift receipt lets the recipient know that you won't be offended should they not like the gift you carefully chose.

What frustrates me is when well-wishers give carefully selected gifts without the receipt. I can’t exchange the dull brown jumper and I certainly won’t be wearing it. If I asked the person for a receipt, I run the risk of offending them. So instead I choose to re-gift. It saves having to find room in my closet for another item I won’t wear and I don't have to to shop around for that friend’s birthday. 

Being a good re-gifter is all about organisation. I keep a list of the items I get that I don't want, and the people who gave them to me. I always have gift bags and tissue paper from Scribbler at the ready so I don't have to spend ages wrapping. And I make note of who I have passed the gift on to, so that I can avoid any confusion and keep up the pretense that I bought their new favourite scarf. 

I must admit I've become somewhat of an expert at re-gifting. I now know which person will give me a present that will suit another friend better. So much so that on occasion I don’t even check for the gift receipt. And should either the initial gift-giver or the recipient ask, I'd like to think I could cleverly talk myself out of coming clean. Heaven forbid they should meet with the recipient wearing the very item I re-gifted. 

The best gift for me is a voucher to use at one of my favourite shops. I know this might sound cold and impersonal. But thanks to Facebook friendships and the ease with which they can be maintained in the digital age, there are more social functions to attend than ever before. And the most efficient way for a friend to show me they care is giving me the choice to select and item I really want. Sure there are exceptions to the rule. If a friend knows that my favourite scent is Lacoste Pour Homme, or decides to order my favourite orchid from interflora, than this is spot-on and they know my taste. These few can be trusted to get it right.

The biggest mistake is to buy a gift based on the very little you know about the recipient in the hope that it is enough that they will like it. I would much rather have received a voucher than the three copies and poster of Brokeback Mountain. 

The friends, who I'm sure meant well, did not select the movie based on my taste in film, nor my appreciation of the director's previous work. It was a shot in the dark based on the genre of the film. This only highlighted how little we knew each other, or how sloppy they are at re-gifting. Thanks to ebay, I was able to get the books I'd actually hoped wanted and three bidders got to appreciate Jake and Heath. But this situation could easily have been avoided by opting for a Zara or Bannatyne's Spa gift voucher. And if your particularly strapped for cash, KGB Deals has some great beauty treatments or experience days at fantastic value.  

So this year I hope that I will only get the minimum re-gift gifts required to cover the birthdays I'm attending. And I already have my eye on a couple of sweaters and bags to spend those Topman and Zara vouchers on.

THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY

It's the most important meal of the day. But recent studies suggest an increasing number of people skip breakfast altogether. Whilst I am guilty of not always choosing the healthiest option for my morning meal, or even having a full breakfast, I still try to get something in to keep me going.

I often hear people blaming a lack of time for skipping breakfast. But it really doesn't require much to get the food you need. Even grabbing breakfast bars, the right ones mind, can help keep you fueled  I am currently obsessed with nakd bars, which are made up of fruit and nuts smooshed together. There is no added sugar and they are wheat and dairy free, so everyone can enjoy them. My favourite is the gingerbread flavour which really wakes up the taste buds.

A lot of companies don't mind people eating at their desk. I normally write my daily to-do-list, whilst eating an Oat So Simple express porridge pot by Quaker Oats. Toast is great, especially with peanut butter. But it’s just not as filling. And cereal is fine, but so much of it is processed and can end up tasting too sweet. The porridge pots are great because they're wholesome, filling and all I have to do is add hot water. It really couldn't be less time consuming.

I love milk, but rarely do I fancy a cold glass of it first thing in the morning.  I much prefer hazelnut milk. The taste is best described as a mildly rich nuttiness, but without that overpowering dry sensation. It is much smoother than rice or soy milk, so try it out. I normally pick up Tesco’s own label, but Alpro’s offering tastes fantastic too.

I’m also becoming a fan of oat milk, This has a pleasant unsweetened flapjack-like taste, and works really well in hot drinks. ProVitamil’s Oat Drink is great because it's not only low-fat and unsweetened, it's also enriched with calcium and vitamins D and B. So it’s a pretty good drink to kick-start the day.

The mere thought of a fry-up is enough to make my stomach turn. I know it’s a dish much loved by the nation, but I don’t particularly like the smell of cooked fat and grease so early in the day. No, my ideal hot breakfast is a little more refined. For me, nothing beats eggs benedict. A lightly toasted muffin, succulent thick cut ham, on top of which sits a beautiful poached egg happily covered in hollandaise sauce. No other dish can give me such satisfaction in the morning.

If, like me, you often make a mess when attempting to poach eggs, then try the Poachpod® from Lakeland. It makes the job so much easier. And who has time to make the sauce. Just pick up a jar hollandaise sauce with a hint of lemon by Maille and slather it on.

On the mornings when I can’t face food (yes it happens), I still need something to keep me going ‘til lunch.  Of course coffee helps, and so does fruit. I always have some clementines to hand so I can get in some vitamin C. However a recent study suggests that another fruit might be better at keeping hunger pangs at bay. 

Research carried out at Queen Margaret University, has found that an extract from pomegranates makes people less hungry, and even results in eating smaller portions. But instead of rushing to buy pomegranates (very hard to cut in the office) try PomeGreat instead. The extract is unique ingredient in all their juice drinks and they taste fantastic. I particularly like their pomegranate and cherry juice blend. Find out more about the PurePlus®  extract here. 

So there you have it. This is my pick of the best and easiest breakfast food to fuel me up for the day ahead. I hope that if you normally skip breakfast, you’ll try to squeeze in some of my picks to see you through to lunchtime.

KITCHEN GADGETS - FOR WHEN A KNIFE JUST WON'T DO

I have a real passion food, and for cooking. One of the perks of living at home is free use of my mother’s large fully stocked kitchen, overflowing with spices and fresh exotic vegetables all at my disposal.

My mother enjoys cooking too, almost as much as she enjoys buying random kitchen utensils to make kitchen chores that little bit easier. We even go to the Ideal Home Show every year to buy these supposedly life changing items, only to get bored of them six months later.

Thankfully I can say that I have not and probably never will buy any of the following gadgets. They are my pick of the weirdest and most useless kitchen items.

BANANA SLICER
Don’t you hate it when you want to slice a banana, but for some reason, a knife just won’t work? Well then buy a Kitchencraft banana slicer. Slice a whole banana in seconds, because traditional methods are so time consuming. Order yours now! £6.29 from wayfair.co.uk 

BANANA GUARD

If you really are in a rush and have to take the whole banana with you, pack it in it’s own case. Because there is nothing wrong about pulling something shaped like this out of your bag at the office or at lunch break. Protect your banana, get a guard at Lakeland.

TWIRLING SPAGHETTI FORK

I initially thought this could only be a novelty item. But then I was informed that this is great for the elderly, who have trouble twirling their forks. Surely spaghetti can be cut. Whilst brilliant in theory, the automated Twirling Spaghetti Fork makes a complete mess if it isn't dipped all the way into the noodles. That's bolognese sauce everywhere... And what happens if the batteries run out midway through the meal? Lakeland was selling them at £5.99 each, but have since discontinued the range. Back to the traditional fork then. 

ELECTRIC LIGHT UP PEPPER MILL 
I actually think the majority of Salter products are very good. Their kitchenware range by Heston Blumenthal is paticularly striking and helpful. 

But this is the company behind the electric salt and pepper mills that light up when you're seasoning. Why pray tell might this be a good idea? Do many people use these items in the dark or areas with poor lighting? Or are we just that interested in how much and where exactly our seasoning is falling? According to Tesco, it is ideal for candlelit dinners. Yes, because nothing says romance like a buzzing sound and spotlights on our food. 

THE SCIZZA
An average of 1643 pizzas are consumed in Britain every day. Surely then we should be able to cut pizza using a knife, or a rolling pizza cutter. But for those of you that still don’t get how these two items work, there is the pizza scissors, or 'scizza'. Much like the over-sized helpful items from kindergarten, these scissors mean that hungry carb-loaders can snip slices, or even create origami creations with their dinner. Throw away the knives and  order yours  for £19.95 

ONION GOGGLES
I hate cutting onions as much as the next person. Yes it upsets my eyes. But if you don’t want to wear a £23 pair of goggles from John Lewis, pop your onion in the freezer half an hour before cutting. It works a treat and saves you looking like an absolute idiot / snowboard instructor in the kitchen.

TAPI 
My favourite of these items is the little device that turns a simple tap into a water fountain. That’s right, sometimes a glass won’t do, and heaven forbid cupping a mouthful of water into your palm! Just attach The Tapi and you have an instant water fountain, like the ones that everyone uses in the gym, or were commonly found at school playgrounds.  This is much more hygienic.

What weird and useless products have you seen? Do you have any of these or others lurking in your kitchen cupboards? Or do you think any of the above are actually useful?

Right, I’m off to practice cutting pizza and slicing bananas.

KISS KISS?

Recent research suggests that people in the UK are a lot more openly affectionate than they were 100 years ago. Now I am no expert on the matter, but it doesn't take a genius to see that we are very tactile with one another. I doubt this was the case thirty years ago when my mother was my age, let alone 100 years back. 

I can’t deny that I am a tactile person too. I hug friends, and offer reassurance by touching their wrist or stroking their arm during conversation. It comes naturally to me, and I was completely unaware of it until a friend pointed it out to me. According to him I have always shown affection in this manner, and apparently it isn't something everyone does. But it isn't forced or done in an inappropriate manner. And I know when to hold back and not invade somebody's personal space.

Whilst I see nothing wrong with this behaviour, I get very frustrated when I witness too much affection displayed in public, normally between couples. I'm not just talking about holding hands and stroking arms here. It might be the singleton’s green eyed-monster rearing its ugly head, but I have been much more aware of just how openly affectionate couples can be. I’m pretty sure if I was out in public with a significant other I wouldn't display my affection so openly, would I?



I was recently on a busy morning train into town. There were a number of commuters packed in so this particular couple had to stand quite close to one another. But then out of nowhere, the man brushed his girlfriend’s hair to one side and started planting kisses on her neck. Now one little peck is fine, but a continuous barrage of kissing that caused the young lady to giggle and squirm really is too much, especially at 8:45 in the morning. Some people haven’t even had their breakfast yet. I am not being a prude, but there really is a time and place for such things. Surely holding you loved one’s hand will suffice before you part ways to go to work. Does the whole carriage need to watch as you mark your territory? Or do they both enjoy the titillation of having their morning ritual witnessed by so many? Either way, it was not appreciated. 

And it is not just couples who I have witnessed showing more affection. When I am introduced to somebody, I normally shake their hand. But at a dinner last week, I was momentarily taken aback when three people I had never met in my life proceeded to kiss me on both cheeks. I am not reserved at all and frequently greet friends with a kiss on the cheek. But I know these people.  I had no idea who these casual cheek-kissers were, or what germs they carried. It left me feeling awkward and obliged to carry on the custom with everyone else I met at the dinner. I felt like an extra In Channel 4’s Made In Chelsea, littering fake affection everywhere. 

I was reminded of President Obama and the First Lady’s visit to the UK a couple of years back, where they planted a continental kiss on the cheeks of David and Mrs Cameron. It came so easily to the visiting Americans. But both the PM and his missus just looked awkward. Maybe they ought to watch this video and rehearse a little before the Obamas next come to visit.

There are some shifts in affection however, that I'm happy to see. In 2011, whilst on a Royal tour of Canada, Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge openly hugged one another on a boat in front of the international media. This is in stark contrast to any other Royal couple before them, who have remained reserved and somewhat rigid in the public eye. Surely this freer public affection has played a large part in winning over the public. 

Yes we are closer as a nation, and I think that is great. But there are some signs of affection that maybe shouldn't be shared out openly and with everyone, thereby devaluing them. Besides, we’re British. Aren't we famous for our stiff upper lip? Or has this been softened with chap-stick?

WIPE THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE

Research carried out by Dove has found that the average man in the UK only washes his face 6 times a week. Now I don't care how you argue it, that is a little bit vile. The fact is, we go out and expose our skin to all kinds of pollution, and we touch our face an average 2 to 4 times a minute. Think of all the germs constantly being transferred onto our face.

I frequently see men who look old before their time. There is nothing attractive about a leathery face that clearly hasn't seen a wash cloth in weeks. Dry skin, wrinkles and dark circles do not look good on a young twenty-something.

The article goes on to complain that men only spend 5 minutes a day on their face, and spend an average of £2.44 a week. This is where I have to disagree. I see no problem in being economic with skincare products, and think that 5 minutes (outside of shaving) is sufficient.

Guys, if you think the first thing that a date is looking at is the body you've worked hard on, or what your clothes, you are wrong. The very first thing is always the face, because that is what they have to stare at for the evening. But looking good doesn't cost the earth. Here is my pick of the best products to keep your mug looking fresh.

WASH IT

I make a point of washing my face every morning and again before bed. And when I get home from work I make a point of taking a damp cloth and wiping my face clean. I strongly suggest others follow suit.

I swear by Neutrogena's Visibly Clear 2 in 1 face wash and mask. I use it as monthly face mask, but more of that later. This fantastic product smells good and a little goes a long way. Pick it up at Boots for £3.99

MOISTURISE

A lot of men have a problem applying cream to their face. Some of mates think this is a little girly, or reserved only for metrosexuals and the vain. My usual response is, "Well you have washed off the oily essentials from your face and now you plan on going out and exposing it to pollution  And if you live in London, imagine the smog and dirt of the London Underground seeping into your skin." This normally leads to them asking to borrow my face cream. Again, there is no need to break the bank here. And I personally don't think more than one cream is needed. 

The skin on your face is very delicate and sensitive. So don't be too abrasive  I suggest something like Nivea for Men Rehydrating Moisturiser. I use a pea-sized amount first thing in the morning, and maybe again later in the afternoon. Boots have it on special offer, down from £6.70 to £3.35. Or pick it up at Asda for £4. Again, there are no floral scents and the product doesn't leave any greasy residue. 

My colleague James also recommends Bulldog Anti-Aging moisturiser. The product certainly looks good, although James doesn't need to worry about aging. But it does come in at a higher price of £8.00 at Tesco. Check it out and let me know what you think

We are all aging and our faces are going to change. So long as you are good to your skin, your skin will be good to you. I would avoid any anti-aging products that claim to reverse the hands of time, or promise youthful looks instantly. 

SHAVE

A good razor/electric shaver keeps a guy from looking like he doesn't care. If you like a little stubble, there are some great electric trimmers out there. But don't pick ones that can do 101 things, if all you'll use it for is to keep your stubble in check twice a week. This will keep the cost down.

If you opt for a clean shaven look, make sure you use a good shaving gel. Any by Gillette will do. I actually don't use any aftershave balm. My moisturiser is often enough to keep skin irritation at bay. But everyone's skin is different. Try to select one that uses as many natural products as possible.

MASK

As I mentioned earlier, I think a face mask once a month does wonders for the skin. The Neutrogena 2 in 1 product contains clay, so it cleanses deep down within five minutes. Simple. And it also keeps blackheads and any spots from appearing. Just make sure you don't use anything too hard to wash the mask off. Don't forget to apply a moisturiser afterwards.

ANTI-SPOT?

A big mistake made by people who are prone to spots is using too many harsh products all at once. Thankfully I rarely suffered from spots growing up, but I know how strong the anti spot treatments are. The blue alcohol-smelling liquid for the face is not natural. It dries the skin and probably rids the treated area of all the essential oils too.  So don't cover your face in six face products. Your skin can only take so much beating. Just limit how much you use, and not too often. 

If you suffer from spots, opt for something a bit kinder to the skin. Try Boots' Pharmaceutical's Witch Hazel Gel. It isn't too tough on skin, and only costs £1.99

EYE EYE!

I can't stress enough how delicate the skin is around the eyes. Compared to the rest of the face that is made up of several layers of skin, the area around the eye is only made of two. So make sure you don't press too hard.

A number of companies produce roll-on serums. My advice is to avoid them completely! Just don't miss the area when applying a moisturiser. 

The best way to avoid crowsfeet is to get a good night's sleep. If you already have them, then just rock the look. They work for George Clooney, they will look great on you

LIPS

Keep you lips looking good and don't let them dry out. There is nothing less attractive then chapped lips. Pick up Palmer's Cocoa Butter lip balm, enriched with vitamin E for £1.69 from Lloyd's Pharmacy.

So you see, it doesn't take much time or effort to keep the face looking fresh and young. And the good people at Dove can rest easy, knowing that men everywhere now know not to spend a fortune on overhyped products.

WORK STRESS

WE LOVE MONDAYS!

Hands up if you love Mondays too! No? Well a quick Google search reveals that stress in the work place affects 400,000 people in the UK every year; the number of teachers taking stress leave has increased by 10%; and work was going to ruin Christmas for nearly 75% of the UK working population. One recent study even reports a link between work stress and an increased risk of heart attack among older men.

Now I do not claim to understand the stress of say a banker, or somebody who has to make massive critical decision at work everyday. But I do think everybody gets a little stressed, and this shouldn't be belittled. 

A friend of mine who works as an accountant, and has recently finished a series of exams, only to be greeted by yet more work deadlines, told me he wishes he had my job. Apparently he thinks I spend all day on Facebook, calling friends, meeting people for a drink and enjoying quite a “cushty” lifestyle.  This comment really upset me.

I reminded my friend that he had chosen his career, and there was no point complaining or comparing. What I really wanted to tell him was that he could not begin to understand the stress that I, or for that matter anybody in their job, feels. It is a personal state of mind that I don’t think can be measured by what a person chooses to do for a living, but by the outcome of a frustrating situation and the feeling of losing control.

Yes, I get stressed. And here are my picks on how to combat it. I am in no way claiming that they works for everyone, but it can’t hurt to try them yourself.

REGULAR BREAKS

The thought that I sit at my computer for hours on end everyday actually makes my back twinge. It is uncomfortable and can, over time, cause very frustrating muscle pain. This can then trigger feelings of stress. So every hour or so, I get up from my desk and walk around, make a cup of tea, or go and distract a colleague. Well I didn't say anything about causing other people stress! This gives me a couple of minutes to decompress, clear my mind, and let my eyes readjust after staring at the computer monitor for too long.

A LITTLE MORE COMFY

I have cushion envy. A colleague has a really nice cushion on her chair, It looks so comfortable and gives her area an added warmth. Little touches like this make the desk, a place where I spend a large part of the day, more comfortable. How about a little plant or a photo of a loved one?

Just keep it appropriate. No photos of you and your significant other half-naked on a beach canoodling. The boss does not need to see that! You want to be taken seriously at work, so keep the “I LOVE BIEBER” pillow at home. This is not a throwback of your teenage bedroom.

FOOD

Yes, my top drawer is dedicated to food and nibbles. It is very easy to get stuck into work and forget to eat. And without the right fuel, concentration can dip and tasks appear harder. So I make sure I have some breakfast bars. I recommend nak’d or Oat So Simple Morning Bars.

I also ensure I keep hydrated. I recently bought a bobble bottle because I know I spend far too much frequently purchasing bottled water. Every little helps in cutting down money stress.

I really can’t face breakfast until I am checking emails. Not every workplace is as nice as mine, letting me eat at my desk. But even I wouldn't bring in a bacon butty or something equally as smelly into work. Try a pot of porridge, or some granola-topped yoghurt from Costa.

And don’t forget fruit. Dig your teeth and claws into an apple, not the colleague who thought it was a good idea to pipe in at a client meeting and quote prices that are way below what you need to get the job done. SERIOUSLY?!

UPDATES & FEEDBACK

A lot of stress comes from uncertainty. That is why I think it is really important to stay informed, even If you won’t like what you are about to hear. We have regular team meetings and this keeps me in the loop about what everyone is doing, and what I need to prioritise. As much as it would fill everyone with dread, It is also a good idea to ask for feedback. Make sure the work you are doing is being done properly. If it isn't change it. If it is, great, you just got a little bit of recognition.

PILLS AND POTIONS

I will never take Pro Plus. I am sure that a little pill containing so much caffeine can only play havoc with my system. I would rather have a strong coffee and hope for the best. But on the days when I feel I need something more, (and no, not just when I am feeling the effects from the night before), I turn to Berocca. The price is a little high, and I do often opt for the own-brand versions. This effervescent multivitamin gives me the pick-me-up I need to be a little more alert. And it flushes out of the system naturally, so I'm not wired until 4 in the morning.

I also love Bach Rescue Remedy. A few drops of this on my tongue before a meeting and I am calm and composed. Whether it works it is just psychological trick, I don’t know. But I don’t question it.

Failing that, I do believe in the calming power of a cup of tea. Try herbal teas if you are trying to stay off the caffeine.

DEAR DIARY

I have got better at using this. It helps that I have a half-page a day diary, so I can scrawl everything down. It’s nice being the organised one in the office.

SUNDAY NIGHT PLAN

I also find it helpful to make a list of the things I need to do before the week starts. On Sunday, because I normally forget to on a Friday afternoon,  I jot down all the work I know I need to get done for the week ahead. I then note down things I need to be aware of outside of work, including social events and upcoming appointments. That way I can plan my time better and bring anything up in the Monday meeting.

WORK/LIFE BALANCE

It is so important to switch off once out of the office. I have a work Blackberry and stay connected in case something happens. But otherwise, once I am out of the door, I am on my time, and I don’t want to think about what I need to do at work. Good friends and plenty of activities (including cooking and getting a well-earned massage) keep me happy.

I hope that a couple of these suggestions will help you feel less stressed at work. They are my picks but I think they are pretty relatable and none are too difficult to implement. What do you do to stay sane in the office?  Let me know

CARPHONE CONFUSION

I, not by my own choice, have two mobile phones. A Blackberry from work to keep me connected; and an iPhone 3 (yes I haven’t upgraded) for keeping my personal life as organised as it can possibly be.

 

I am constantly told by service providers that I could switch to a better deal, and frequently get enticed by all the bells and whistles on my friends’ new handsets. But the idea of navigating through a barrage of information, which may as well be written in klingon, fills me with dread.

A friend recently suggested I consider the Samsung Galaxy SIII, a very sharp looking mobile that, whilst a little bigger than my current handset, is lighter and seems easy to navigate. The majority of iPhone users appreciate how easy it is to navigate our phones and Apple devices. So working on a new layout can be tricky. Nonetheless, I decided that my sworn allegiance to Apple may only be due to a sense of comfort, and it’s high time I ventured away from the calls of Siri.

I went to my local phone shop in a bid to see what other contracts were available. After what felt like an eternity of chatter, I left the store wondering what a parrot and jellybean had to do with buying a new phone. I even told the sales assistant, a suited pushy teenager who apparently uses a daily tub of Brylcream in his hair, that I’m not completely up to speed with mobile technology. Instead of explaining it to me like I suspect most people would appreciate, I was directed to a large wall of handsets that I should consider purchasing, none of which were the phone I had initially asked about. Needless to say, I left feeling more of an idiot then when I arrived.

A lot of my friends are great with technology, and on hearing my plight, directed me to some websites. There is a lot of great information and reviews such as Techradar, pocket-lint and What Mobile, and I started to understand why certain handsets are better for different tasks.  But there are also some sites that cleverly look helpful until I realise they are trying yet again to direct me to the most expensive phone, one that coincidentally spent a large sum on online advertising.

I still don’t get why the industry feels the need to name operating systems (OS) stupid terms including jelly bean and ice-cream sandwich. I get the feeling they are trying to keep less tech-savvy individuals like myself out of their inner circle, leaving us to fall victim the clever sales people.

Thankfully I have not yet signed up to a 24-month contract on a phone that is “basically like the next iPhone,” with a slightly different operating system, but better camera and lower price tag, and add-ons to increase my data. But it’s not because I’m picky about which phone to get. I’m still  just a little confused on which phone is best for me. Is there a simple phone that does everything for me, gets me organised, looks nice, and doesn't cost me half my annual salary? Or is this wishful thinking?

Do you have the same phone frustration? Have you been duped into signing up to a contract and then realised it’s not what you wanted? Do you understand tech speak? Or do you know any phone shops that have actually been helpful? Let me know

PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY

I make the choice to give to charity. I give my money and time to causes that support those less fortunate than myself. I think it is important to give back because I can. But a growing concern for me is the expectations of fellow charitable colleagues and acquaintances. Whilst their efforts to raise funds are pretty amazing, I feel I am, on occasion, being pressured into donating more than I would like to for their cause.

More of my friends are taking up charitable activities, which is great. It is amazing to see more people getting involved with a cause. But it also means that I am being hit-up for more donations. Last year I was asked to sponsor close to 20 different charity fundraisers. And that is on top of the donations I made to my charities of choice. I couldn't help but feel I was being forced into parting with my money. If this continues then soon I might need a charity to house and feed me. I always make a contribution where I can. But I have found that now my charitable acquaintances expect a more generous amount because i'm in a "decent paying job," or because “we are good friends”.

A couple of weeks back, a  friend organised a fundraiser. I had already made my donation online and was enjoying the event when he led me to a corner and asked why I had donated such an amount. The amount was not small by any means, but considering our (banker) mate had made a larger donations, my friend felt mine wasn't sufficient. I have to be honest, I felt very uncomfortable being asked to justify my personal choice. I explained that I had already donated to my causes and decided to give the amount I would usually give to other causes. The response I got was less than appreciative. I was informed that as a friend, he expected more of me, and that maybe I ought to look at what other people had donated. I didn't realise that donations now come with a minimum spend.

We are in a recession and I do think charity starts at home. But I would never stop giving to others where I can. I belive it is one of the most important and selfless things I can do. This being said, one of my New Year’s resolutions is to be more careful with my money. I am cutting out unnecessary purchases and finding ways to save the pennies. I have decided to donate the same amount I always do the charities of my choice. They mean a lot to me and I believe they do some amazing work. I don’t push my cause onto others, because that’s not how I chose to support them. 

And whilst everyone may not agree with my choice, I have decided to put aside a set amount to donate to friends’ causes and fundraising efforts. Once this pot is empty, that’s it! And I will not be moved to give more to one cause than the other, whether I’m sponsoring my best friend's climb up Mount Kilimanjaro or a relatively new neighbour’s bake sale. Charity has to be a choice, and I don’t think it is right to be guilt-tripped or forced into it.

Do you ever feel pressured into parting with more money for a cause? Have you ever encountered a demand for a larger donation than the one you chose to give?

SERVICE WITH A SMILE?

Over the last couple of years, I've become rather picky about where I shop and dine. A large deciding factor is how I'm made to feel when I go there. You'll never catch me in a TK Maxx riffling through endless rows of clothing that was probably piled together in the back of a van. For me it's all about the customer service.

Nothing frustrates me more than seeing three hungover students or struggling art graduates on their shift, standing around chatting about their epic night out, whilst I wait for one of them to notice me and find the top I want in the right size. Sorry, did somebody say Topman Oxford Circus?  The standard of customer service, once an institution in the UK, is fast becoming an afterthought for the majority of highstreet retailers.

Recently a friend and I were having lunch in town. We decided that for every time our waiter paid attention to us, smiled, or came to see if everything was okay, we would add £1 to his tip. After a delicious meal and plenty of chatter we ended up adding a mere £2 to the tip. That was for one smile in 2 hours and being asked if we'd like to see the dessert menu. I was appalled.  Waiting staff at restaurants; I feel obliged to tip you, my mother doesn't  But by how much depends on how pleasant and attentive you are. I don’t think it is too much to expect that, without my asking, you check on the salad starter I ordered 40 minutes ago.

 

I’m not saying the standard of service is this poor across the UK. In fact there are some places where service is so fantastic that I've forgotten what the food was like. And I'd happily go back there just for the friendly staff.

Research carried out last year by Nivea suggests that we are now a nation of closeness. Apparently the UK public have lost their stiff upper lip and are much more openly affectionate. This was evident during the Queen’s Jubilee and London Olympics. There was a real sense of warmth and unity. Believe it or not, strangers were even chatting to each other on public transport. It’s such a shame then, that after a few short months, staff in shops and restaurants have reverted to barely making eye contact.

THIS IS A SMILE

Cross the seas to America and it’s a whole different story. Shop assistants bend over backwards to please customers. There are even floor staff whose sole job is to greet shoppers. Fixed perfect smiles on their faces, and practically shouting “Hi, how are ya” and “Have a super awesome day!” These fake and forced pleasantries, whilst somewhat sweet are rather grating after awhile. 

But the standard of service is much better. Shop assistants in America seem to have more awareness of customer satisfaction and just get things done. They actually appear to enjoy their job, no really! Maybe they work on commission or they're taking Prozac in the stock-room. Whatever the reason, their approach is much faster and generally more efficient.

I’m not suggesting the UK should completely adopt this American robotic parrot-like approach to customer service. I suspect a designated greeter in some West End stores would very quickly get happy-slapped. We in the UK like a little more reservation and honesty with our interaction. But a little chat wouldn't go amiss. I like it when the girl at the checkout at Zara tells me she likes the shirt I picked out, or lets me know that her shift is nearly over and she plans on raiding the women’s shoes section with her staff discount.

To all the shop assistants and waiting staff, please wake up a little and crack a smile. It doesn't cost a thing and you might even get a tip.