KISS KISS?

Recent research suggests that people in the UK are a lot more openly affectionate than they were 100 years ago. Now I am no expert on the matter, but it doesn't take a genius to see that we are very tactile with one another. I doubt this was the case thirty years ago when my mother was my age, let alone 100 years back. 

I can’t deny that I am a tactile person too. I hug friends, and offer reassurance by touching their wrist or stroking their arm during conversation. It comes naturally to me, and I was completely unaware of it until a friend pointed it out to me. According to him I have always shown affection in this manner, and apparently it isn't something everyone does. But it isn't forced or done in an inappropriate manner. And I know when to hold back and not invade somebody's personal space.

Whilst I see nothing wrong with this behaviour, I get very frustrated when I witness too much affection displayed in public, normally between couples. I'm not just talking about holding hands and stroking arms here. It might be the singleton’s green eyed-monster rearing its ugly head, but I have been much more aware of just how openly affectionate couples can be. I’m pretty sure if I was out in public with a significant other I wouldn't display my affection so openly, would I?



I was recently on a busy morning train into town. There were a number of commuters packed in so this particular couple had to stand quite close to one another. But then out of nowhere, the man brushed his girlfriend’s hair to one side and started planting kisses on her neck. Now one little peck is fine, but a continuous barrage of kissing that caused the young lady to giggle and squirm really is too much, especially at 8:45 in the morning. Some people haven’t even had their breakfast yet. I am not being a prude, but there really is a time and place for such things. Surely holding you loved one’s hand will suffice before you part ways to go to work. Does the whole carriage need to watch as you mark your territory? Or do they both enjoy the titillation of having their morning ritual witnessed by so many? Either way, it was not appreciated. 

And it is not just couples who I have witnessed showing more affection. When I am introduced to somebody, I normally shake their hand. But at a dinner last week, I was momentarily taken aback when three people I had never met in my life proceeded to kiss me on both cheeks. I am not reserved at all and frequently greet friends with a kiss on the cheek. But I know these people.  I had no idea who these casual cheek-kissers were, or what germs they carried. It left me feeling awkward and obliged to carry on the custom with everyone else I met at the dinner. I felt like an extra In Channel 4’s Made In Chelsea, littering fake affection everywhere. 

I was reminded of President Obama and the First Lady’s visit to the UK a couple of years back, where they planted a continental kiss on the cheeks of David and Mrs Cameron. It came so easily to the visiting Americans. But both the PM and his missus just looked awkward. Maybe they ought to watch this video and rehearse a little before the Obamas next come to visit.

There are some shifts in affection however, that I'm happy to see. In 2011, whilst on a Royal tour of Canada, Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge openly hugged one another on a boat in front of the international media. This is in stark contrast to any other Royal couple before them, who have remained reserved and somewhat rigid in the public eye. Surely this freer public affection has played a large part in winning over the public. 

Yes we are closer as a nation, and I think that is great. But there are some signs of affection that maybe shouldn't be shared out openly and with everyone, thereby devaluing them. Besides, we’re British. Aren't we famous for our stiff upper lip? Or has this been softened with chap-stick?